


Countdown to Zero, Baby You’re My Hero

by orphan_account



Category: SEVENTEEN (Band)
Genre: Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Break Up, F/M, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Getting Back Together, Hurt/Comfort, not explicitly back together but there is hope, there’s a happy(ish?) ending i swear
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-25
Updated: 2020-11-25
Packaged: 2021-03-10 07:16:01
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,265
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27709613
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: You let out the breath you’ve been holding in, nice and slow. This is it. You turn your body away as you speak under your breath, but you know he hears it all the same.“Goodbye, Mingyu.”—A portrait of a relationship with a certain Kim Mingyu through time
Relationships: Kim Mingyu/Reader, Kim Mingyu/You
Comments: 2
Kudos: 14





	Countdown to Zero, Baby You’re My Hero

End of Fall 2019

“Here you go,” you say as you hand Mingyu a tote bag. He doesn’t meet your eyes as he takes it and inspects its contents. There are a few DVDs, a grey hoodie, a white graphic tee, a toothbrush and a bottle of men’s face wash in a ziplock bag, and a phone charger.

“That should be everything,” you say, fingers twisting together just so they have something, anything to do; so you don’t reach out to him. “If you remember anything else you left behind or if I find anything I’ll just pass them through Wonwoo or Jun, okay?” Your eyes don’t leave the tote bag in his hands as you speak. He nods, but doesn’t say anything. He reaches to his back pocket and produces a key with a giant pink pompom keychain attached to it. You lift your right hand and he pressed it into your palm.

A few long seconds pass like that. The key in your hand feels heavy, and the tickle of the pompom feels like an insult. “Right,” you manage to say, finally. “I’m gonna go. Take care, Mingyu.” You turn on your heels as you drop the key into your handbag. You barely took a step when you hear him.

“Wait,” he croaks out, sounding a little too desperate and not at all graceful. You stop, against your better judgment. You turn your head and all air was knocked out of your lungs when you meet his eyes.  _ “Shit, don’t cry don’t cry don’t cry,”  _ you screamed inwardly. You feel your eyes starting to sting, anyway.

Mingyu hesitated, chewing his lip. You want nothing more than to smooth the scrunch in his eyebrows, to tell him it’s going to be okay, take him in your arms and go home together, hand in hand. You both know it’s way too late for that.

“It’s just,” _(_ _please stop)_ , “it’s- I never apologized.” _(_ _ You apologized plenty.)  _ He’s avoiding your eyes again. “I’m sorry it had to end like this.” 

“I know,” you say, after a pause. “I am too.” You take a deep breath in and drink in the sight. He’s so tall and yet he feels so... so small, his shoulders curls in and his head hangs heavily. You hate seeing him like this, but you know you won’t be able to forget it in a long, long time, the image already burned into your mind.

You let out the breath you’ve been holding in, nice and slow. This is it. You turn your body away as you speak under your breath, but you know he hears it all the same.

“Goodbye, Mingyu.”

—-

Summer 2019

You sit on your couch, pulling your legs up and resting your head on your knees. Your head hurts so much. You gingerly press two fingers between your eyes and along your eyebrows, massaging lightly, desperate for some relief. You must’ve been crying for an hour, maybe more. It’s too fucking hot outside and the humidity is through the roof. The air conditioner broke two days ago. The fan in the corner of the room isn’t all that helpful. You groan as your head throb again. You think this might actually be hell.

You hear the front door unlock, followed by the rustle of a familiar someone taking off his shoes and stepping inside. You don’t look up. 

“Hey,” you hear him say, a little unsure. He shuffles towards the sofa and kneels down in front of you. “Leave me alone, Mingyu,” you mumble as you wrap your arms around your knees, tightening your defense. He exhales slowly and you think you can hear him frown. “You know I’m not leaving,” he says softly, his fingers finding your wrist and tentatively tries to tug it away. You let him pry one arm off but you still don’t look at him. He takes your hand into his and slowly rubs circles on the back of it with his thumb. The two of you stay like that for a few long minutes.

“_____,” Mingyu calls out slowly. “_____ look at me,” the grip on your hand tightens just a fraction. “Please.”

You let him suffer in silence for a few more seconds before you slowly uncurl from yourself, gingerly stretching out your stiff limbs and lifting your head a little. Mingyu reaches his free hand and brushes your hair away from your face.

You’re sure you look like shit. He’s not in a much better state either. His hair is a mess and the bags under his eyes are deeper and darker than you’ve ever seen them. You finally meet his eyes. You think you might’ve seen something break in him as he rakes his eyes through your face, his hand cradling your cheek and his thumb wiping away the remnant of tears. 

“I’m sorry,” he says, “I really, really am. Please forgive me.” 

You believe him.

You sigh as you place your hand above his on your face. He still holds your gaze firmly, stubbornly. “Hold me,” you manage to say.

Mingyu lifts himself off the floor and onto the couch next to you. He carefully gathers you in his arms, as if to collect all the pieces of you and hoping to put them back together. You lean your weight on his chest and you curl your hand on his thigh.

“I’m still angry at you,” you tell him.

“Okay,” he says.

“And I probably won’t stop being angry for a while,” you say.

“Okay,” he replies again, planting a kiss on your head.

You’re sweaty all over and sticky and disgusting, and in a few minutes he’ll be sweaty and disgusting too, but you don’t care. You stay there for a long time, listening to him murmur  I love you s and your fingers clutch the hem of his t-shirt a little tighter. This might be hell, you think, but you can’t bear to leave just yet.

—-

End of Spring 2019

“I might actually die right now,” Mingyu says. His right hand grips your left so tight it’s kinda painful. His left hand squeezes the safety contraption across his chest and you can see the knuckles turning white. He’d put up a brave front the whole time, up until the roller coaster actually started to move and it’s too late to bail then. 

The roller coaster sluggishly makes its ascend  (prolonging his misery, he’ll say later, and that it was like pulling a tooth) and you hear him sharply suck in a breath. “It’ll be fine!” You say. You feel bad for wanting to laugh, a little, but you can’t say you dislike this side of him. It’s really cute. “I won’t let go of your hand the whole time, I promise!” You sway your linked hands a little for emphasis.

10 more seconds until the drop, you count inwardly.

9

8

7

“If I perish here,” Mingyu pipes urgently.

6

“Just remember-“

5

He lets out a groan

4

“Promise me that-“

3

“You’ll remember-“

2

“That I-“

1

“Love youuUUUU AAAAAAAAAHHHHH!!!!”

Eventually the ride screeches to a stop. You glance to your left to find Mingyu completely pale. You help him exit shakily and he didn’t even stop to see the pictures from the ride, wanting to get away as fast as possible. 

You both find a bench and he sinks onto it, dropping his head onto his hands and groaning. You hand him a bottle of water and you massage the back of his neck. He mumbles something that sounds suspiciously like “that was so embarrassing,” before he finishes the water. 

“Are you feeling okay?” You ask him, “do you think you might throw up?” He shakes his head. “I think I’m fine now,” he says, still a little shaken. You feel relief flooding you as you see the color gradually getting back into his face. 

You tenderly cup his face in your hands and bring him up to look at you. You smile, a little cheekily, perhaps, and softly press your lips against his. “I’m happy that we made it out of that one alive,” you say as you pull away, “but for the record, if I’d, as you said, perished back there I also would want you to remember how much I love you,” 

He finally smiles then, and pulls you down as he chases another kiss.

—-

Early Spring 2019

Mingyu looks up from his perching spot in front of your apartment door as he hears you exit the elevator. “I’m so sorry,” you say when you’re finally in front of him. “The traffic was just crazy today, I don’t know what happened.” He pulls you into a hug with a lopsided grin. “That’s okay,” he says, “there was an accident in the highway, I just read it on the news.” “I still feel bad for making you wait,” you say as you pull away and look at him with a frown. He just smiles good naturedly and takes your heavy workbag from your shoulder. You fish out your keys from your pocket to unlock the door and let him in.

A few days go by and it was a cool Saturday evening when he came to your place next. You open the door to find him grinning proudly with an armful of wine and ingredients he’s going to cook with. Dinner is going to be great, you think. You take the bottle of wine and a brown bag from his hand before placing a peck on his lips and pulling him inside. 

He immediately busies himself with unpacking the groceries and pulling out pots and pans from your shelf. You slowly walk up to him and hug him from behind.

“_____,” Mingyu calls with a chuckle, “it’s not that I don’t love this position- I really do- but I can’t exactly cook with you like this.” You grin as you smoosh your cheek on his back. You linger for a few more seconds before you release him. “I have a present for you,” you say. Mingyu lets you pull him to face you and he meets your gaze with a grin.

You take his hand and press a piece of metal in it. He looks down and stills for a moment.

“I made you a spare key,” you say, “so you can just let yourself in when I’m home late. Or anytime, really.” Mingyu feels his heart swell and he leans down to kiss you. “Thanks,” he murmurs against your lips.

Then he pulls away with a smirk. “What’s with this keychain though,” he lifts his hand and lets the giant pink pompom dangle off of his fingers. “What are you talking about,” you try and fail to suppress a giggle, “it’s just a keychain.”

Mingyu rolls his eyes, but his smile doesn’t fall. “You don’t own anything else nearly as pink and fluffy as this thing,” he says, a little accusingly. You bark out a laugh at that. “Isn’t it atrocious? It’s perfect,” you beam. He rolls his eyes again before kissing your forehead. “It is,” he agrees. 

“I picked it out myself, so you’re not allowed to change it,” you say as you reach up to swipe at his hair affectionately.

“Wouldn’t dream of it.”

—-

Winter 2018

It was almost midnight when you finally reach your apartment building. “I had fun today, thanks,” you say. Your face is flushed red and you hope he thinks it’s just from the cold. Mingyu grins down at you as he replies, “I did too.” 

There’s a nervous energy around you both, a current that builds up and doesn’t know how to release. You feel your fingers tingle, and you’re sure that’s not from the cold.

Mingyu stares at you for what feels like a long time, before he leans down slowly, hesitantly, almost timidly. He brushes your lips together, and when you don’t pull away he presses them fully together. It was brief, and electrifying and perfect. It wasn’t enough.

You hear him bid you goodnight and promise you a phonecall, and he’s just about to leave before you latch onto his arm. “Doyouwannacomeup,” you blurt out before your nerves have a chance to catch up. He looks at you, wide eyed, and you steel yourself to not look away. “I mean, do you want to come up for some hot cocoa, or tea, or whatever, it’s just, I- it’s fine if you don’t want to, I just-“ you take a deep breath, “please stay. Just for a little while.”

You feel the current surging through you, and your chest warms up when he takes your gloved hands in his and smiles. “I’d like that,” he says.

—-

Fall 2018

Mingyu asks you to be his after the third date.

You say yes.

—-

Summer 2018

_ Hey! I just parked my car downstairs, gonna b there soon. What number is ur apt again? _

You sigh as you finish typing out the text to Wonwoo. You’re not in the mood to socialize, really, but it’s his birthday party and his eyes basically glittered when you said you’d come. There’s no saying no to that.

Three minutes later you are in front of his apartment. You knocked on the door and a moment later Wonwoo’s face sticks out of the frame, greeting you. “There you are,” he says, grinning.

“Here I am,” you reply, spreading your arms out in a flourish . “I left the safety of my den and braved the scary outside world, just for you.” He laughs as he pulls you into a quick hug. “Happy birthday, Wonwoo,” you chuckle as you release yourself from him and hand him his present. 

You take in the party as you were ushered in. There are at least a dozen people here already: a few girls, but mostly guys. You smiled as you identified Jun and Hansol in the crowd. Good, at least you know somebody here. 

About 20 minutes in, you leave to use the bathroom and when you come out the party just got more crowded and exponentially rowdier. There must’ve been at least five more guys that just came in. You decide that you don’t have the energy to keep up with the room at the moment so you hang about in the kitchen, waiting for Wonwoo, Jun, or Hansol to be less occupied before you can talk to them again. 

You make small talk with another girl, Wonwoo’s friend from work, but eventually she leaves to talk to someone else. You begin to calculate the amount of time left before you can safely, politely, leave the party when you suddenly notice a shape of tall, dark, and  _ (holy shit)  _ handsome making his way into the kitchen. 

“Hey there,” he says, smiling. “Hi,” you manage to say back smoothly enough. He opens the fridge you’re leaning against and crouches down, considering its contents for a moment. He picks out a bottle and offers you one. “Beer?” He glances up at you with that easy smile never leaving his face. “No thanks, I’m driving later. I’ll take a soda though, if there’s any,” you reply. He scans the fridge once again before he takes out a coke. 

“My name’s Mingyu,” he says as he hands you the can. “_____,” you reply. He stands back up to full height. “Sorry about that,” he jerks his head towards the living room, where the noise level shows no sign of quieting down anytime soon, “it’s always really loud when all of us gather in one place.” “No, you’re fine,” you say with a chuckle. “I assume you’re in that friend group with Jun and Hansol too, then? I’m pretty sure Wonwoo mentioned you before.” His grin widens and a  _ “oh, that’s so cute,”  _ flashes in your mind. 

You spend the next hour mostly chatting with Mingyu. At one point the speaker blasts out Abracadabra by Brown Eyed Girls and he and a few other guys jump up yelling and did a ridiculous  _ (and endearing, really)  _ rendition of the choreography. You thought the party was loud before, but all hell breaks loose when one of the guys  _ (one of the younger ones. His name is Seungkwan, you think) _ abandons the hiphop playlist for a girl group song marathon. Phones were whipped out and plenty of blackmail materials were acquired all around. You just stay in your spot on the couch, prime front row seat, and you don’t stop laughing. You don’t remember the last time you laughed this much.

Six or seven songs in, you notice Mingyu starting to run out of steam. He staggers exaggeratedly to the couch and flops down hard next to you. He must’ve misjudged the distance though, because the next thing you know his hand inadvertently smacks a freshly opened can of coke from your hand, spilling it all over yourself and the couch.

A sudden chorus of “OOOOHHHH KIM MINGYUUUUU,” and exasperated groans erupt from all over the room as you stare at your drenched lap in stunned silence. Barely missing a beat, Wonwoo appears next to you with a box of tissues. He hands you a bunch of them before taking some himself and pressing them on the sofa.

“Holy shit I- I’m so sorry _____. Oh my god that was so stupid. Fuck. I’m sorry,” Mingyu is on the floor next to you now, spluttering apologies with his hands hovering in front of him. His face looks beet red, even from the dim lighting in the living room. “No no, it’s fine,” you try to calm him down a little. Good thing you chose to wear a dark blouse and jeans tonight. It shouldn’t stain too badly, if at all. 

You try to clean yourself as much as possible in the bathroom, but there’s just too much coke and it gets stickier as it dries.  _ “Well, I wasn’t planning on staying too long anyway, might as well go home now,”  _ you sigh as you think to yourself. You tell Wonwoo as much and you prepare to collect your things and leave. Mingyu hovers nervously around you the whole time. 

“Alright, I’ll be seeing you around, Wonwoo,” you say to him at the door. “I’d hug you but I wouldn’t want you to get sticky too,” you smile and high-five him instead. “It’s fine, my sofa has suffered enough in my place,” he says with a side eye towards Mingyu next to him. Mingyu ignores him.

“I’ll walk you to your car,” Mingyu says as he follows you out. His face still looks like a kicked puppy. He doesn’t say anything during the short walk downstairs, so you decide to take pity on him and speak up instead. “Look, I’m not mad, I promise,” you say as you reach your car. And really, you’re not. “It’s not like you did it on purpose, and it’s really not a big deal,” you try to put on your most reassuring smile. “Besides, I still had fun! I really enjoyed talking to you.” At that, Mingyu perks up and his eyes brightens a little. You smile, satisfied that he doesn’t look so down anymore, and climb into your car. “I’ll see you around, Mingyu,” you say before closing your car door and starting the engine.

Mingyu knocks at your window before you can drive away, and you roll it down. “Let me make it up to you anyway,” he says. “Let me buy you coffee or something, how does that sound,” he sounds so hopeful and your heartbeat quickens just a little. 

“Uh, okay. I mean, sure. Coffee. Coffee sounds nice,” you reply a little dumbly. He grins anyway. You punch in your number into his phone with a promise of a text later on. 

“Oh, I’m kinda busy this week, though. Is Saturday okay?” You say as you hand him back his phone. “Saturday’s fine. Saturday’s great,” he replies, “it’s a date!”

—-

Fall 2020 - Epilogue

You place an order for a hot cup of caffe latte with an extra shot. You thank the cashier and pick a seat as you wait for your order and surveyed your surroundings. There are a few people occupying the tables in the cafe and the restaurant across the street, but it’s nowhere near what it used to be like before.  _“It’ll be fine as long as I’m careful,”_ you think. The distancing rules have been relaxed a little after all, and it’s been deemed safe enough for businesses to operate again. You’re just going to finish your coffee and leave. 

You stand up to pick up your order and return with the blessed warm beverage to your windowside table. 

You’re about a third of the way to finishing your drink when you hear someone call your name. You look up and you feel like you might choke.

It’s been almost a year, but you can still recognize his voice, and even under his mask you can see him clear as day.

“Mingyu,” you say, breathlessly.

He hesitates before he speaks again. “Hey. Uh, is it okay if I sit here?” He gestures to the seat on the next table, opposite from you. You nod numbly and silently count count your blessings that he doesn’t have to sit next to or right in front of you. 

He slowly pulls the chair back and sits down. “How have you been?” He asks after a while. “Oh, um, could be better but I’m okay I guess, considering the world almost ending and all that,” you ramble, hoping you don’t sound as agitated as you feel. 

“How about you?” You ask him back. “Yeah, same, I guess,” he replies with a low chortle. He doesn’t say anything else.

You go back to sipping your drink, a little faster than before. If he notices it, he doesn’t comment on it. You wear your mask as soon as you finish and begin to shrug your jacket back on. “I should go,” you say as you stand up. “It’s nice to see you again, Mingyu,” you don’t wait for a reply and you walk out of the cafe. 

You barely made it to the end of the block when you hear him call you. “Wait,”  _ (he sounds as desperate as he was that day)  _ “please.”

Again, against your better judgment, you stop and turn around.

“I-“ he starts, but can’t continue. You don’t leave, and you don’t rush him. You stand there and hold your gaze on him firmly, as if to telepathically encourage him to go on. You think you might be just as desperate as he is.

“I miss you,” he says, finally. A part of you expected him to say something along that line, but it still sends shivers up your spine and you clench your fists, willing yourself to not move, to not go to him. You don’t say anything.

“I’ve had a lot of time to think,” he continues. “And I, well. Um, I was younger. And dumb. And reckless, and impulsive, and- and proud, and all that shit. I wasn’t the best I could be for you. I guess I never apologized for that. I couldn’t see that. I’m sorry,” he meets your eyes as he says it, and you’re so very proud of him. “I really, really am.”

You believe him.

“I don’t know if you still feel anything for me, or if you’re seeing anyone, or whatever, but I still- I really miss you. Fuck I- I just want to talk to you again,” at this, he avoids your eyes like he’s embarrassed. You forgive him for that. “That’s all I could think about this past year, but I don’t know how to bring it up. I just happened to walk by and I saw you inside and, well. I couldn’t help myself. I’m sorry. You’re just so beautiful doing nothing and I,”  _ (that’s unfair. You’re not playing fair, Kim Mingyu) _ “I feel like I might actually die on the spot, or something, and- and, yeah. I just, yeah,” he trails off. His face is a deep shade of red. 

_“I miss you too,”_ you don’t say. _ “So much. This whole time, I never stopped thinking about you.” _

“I guess,” you finally say, “we were both younger and dumb and overall shittier. I’m sorry for that too.” His eyes snap back to yours, expectant, beautiful, and hopeful, and you’re afraid you might drown in them again, and it’ll hurt even worse this time around. You don’t know if you’re ready, if you’re ever going to be ready. 

But he’s there. He’s right there and he’s beautiful and he’s waiting for you and you yearn, you  ache for him.

You fish out a pen from your bag and you walk up to him. He doesn’t move; he waits for you patiently, eagerly. You gently take his wrist and you try to ignore how the sudden contact sends your heartbeat racing. 

You click the pen and you scribble a string of numbers on the back of his right hand. “I lost my old phone,” you say casually. You click the pen shut and put it in your jacket pocket before you let go of him. 

Mingyu stares at his hand reverently before he meets your eyes again. You can tell he’s smiling by how his eyes crease into half moon shapes. “Okay. I, I’ll text you later. Or call you, if that’s okay,” he says. You can see him visibly relaxing. 

“Yeah, you can call me. That’s- that’s okay too,” you say with a smile of your own, “it’s a date.”

**Author's Note:**

> First fic woohoo!  
> I got into Seventeen because Wonwoo caught my eye but then suddenly Mingyu bias wrecked me so hard I-
> 
> Hope you liked it <3


End file.
